We’ve Been Motivating Ourselves Wrong
Today’s post was inspired by the theme of my first English class. We were discussing motivation, and my professor said something that stopped me in my tracks:
“What if I told you that we’ve been motivating others— and ourselves— wrong?”
I sat with that. And the more I thought about it, the more I realized just how true it is.
We live in a culture of gold stars, “treat yourself” habits, hustle culture, and external validation. But what if our default understanding of motivation is outdated?
This is where Daniel Pink’s book Drive comes in— if you haven’t read it, definitely add it to your list. In this book, Pink outlines the evolution of human motivation across three key stages:
“Motivation 1.0 was all about survival. Motivation 2.0 was based on rewards and punishments— carrots and sticks. But Motivation 3.0 is built around our innate need to direct our own lives, to learn and create new things, and to do better by ourselves and our world.”
Let’s break that down.
Motivation 1.0 is primal. Eat. Don’t get eaten. Find shelter. Stay safe. This kept early humans alive, but it doesn’t explain why we show up to class or volunteer or write blog posts at 8am when we could be doing something else.
Motivation 2.0 is the model most of us know. It’s rooted in external rewards and punishments. Work hard, get paid. Slack off, get fired. Be the best, win the medal. This works… until it doesn’t. Over time, it actually dulls creativity, reduces long-term performance, and leaves us constantly chasing “the next thing.” Sound familiar?
Now here’s where things get interesting!
Motivation 3.0 is what we truly need in today’s world— intrinsic motivation. The kind that lives in your gut. The kind that shows up not because someone told you to, but because something inside you wants to.
Pink says Motivation 3.0 stems from three things:
Autonomy— the desire to direct our own lives
Mastery— the urge to get better at something that matters
Purpose— the yearning to do what we do in service of something larger than ourselves
When I read that the first time, something inside me clicked. That’s the type of motivation I crave. Not the pressure to keep up appearances. Not the dopamine hit from likes or praise. But the quiet, meaningful energy that comes from knowing, deep down, that what I’m doing matters— to me.
If you’re anything like me, you’ve probably had moments where you lost motivation and didn’t understand why. You blamed yourself for being lazy or distracted, when really… your motivation system just wasn’t aligned with who you are anymore.
The fix isn’t to double-down on punishment or create a better to-do list. The fix is to reconnect with your why.
Why do you want to improve your health?
Why do you want to go back to school?
Why do you want to write, speak, teach, or care for others?
Motivation is not a tool. It’s a compass.
And I’ll say this— people who are driven by meaning, not pressure, move differently. They radiate a kind of energy that’s not loud, but magnetic. They’re not chasing— they’re creating. They’re not perfect— they’re engaged. They are alive.
So if your current motivational style feels like dragging a dead weight behind you, maybe it’s time to upgrade. Not your planner, coffee, or playlist— but your mindset.
Motivation 3.0 is the future. And the future feels a whole lot more human.
With light,
Rainey
