The Energy We Keep: Why Your Circle Matters More Than You Think

They say you’re the average of five people you spend the most time with— and I say, they’re not wrong.

Lately, I’ve been reflecting on how much our energy is influenced by the people around us. You could be working on healing, eating well, moving your body, pouring love into your passions— but if you’re surrounded by people who drain your light, it’s like trying to run uphill with ankle weights.

Energy is contagious. The more I align myself with people who genuinely root for me, who want to see me succeed and grow, the more me I become. And it’s not about being perfect— it’s about being present, grounded, and intentional. When you build a circle that feels like sunlight, you start to glow without even trying.

One of the books that really hit home for me is Good Energy by Callie Means. I actually found it while my brother was in the hospital, and it couldn’t have landed in my hands at a better time. It talks about how energy isn’t just this vague, woo-woo concept— it’s science. It’s cellular. It’s environmental. They say, “most of what we think is ‘willpower’ is actually our environment,” and I’ve never read anything more true.

My brother was diagnosed with stage four lymphoma. Additionally, he had three rare autoimmune diseases. Every other person diagnosed with that combo while he was still in the hospital didn’t make it. But he did. He was eventually transported to the Huntsman Cancer Center in Utah, and let me tell you— talk about energy. Talk about community. That place runs on both.

He had doctors, nurses, physical therapists, occupational therapists, music therapists, massage therapists, and counselors rotating through 24/7. And then there was us— our family. We rotated in and out constantly. Holding his hand. Playing music. Laughing. Crying. Just being there. And I truly believe that the love, the presence, and the energy we poured into him helped him heal. And now? He’s in remission. Against all odds.

That experience changed me. It showed me what it really means to care, to be present, to bring genuine energy that heals.

So if you’re doing all the “right” things but still feel stuck, I invite you to look at your circle. Do they energize you or exhaust you? Do they support your healing or stunt it?

You don’t owe your peace to anyone who profits off your pain.

Protect your space. Curate your circle. Because healing isn’t just about what you do— it’s also about who you do it around.

With love,

Rainey